Losing a baby during any stage of pregnancy is a very sad and painful experience; this is especially true when the loss is experienced through a still birth. A still birth happens much further into the pregnancy, anytime from the 24th week right up until the birth.
It is not uncommon for the mother to have to go through the labour so not only does she suffer the loss of her baby but also the physical and emotional trauma of giving birth. Unlike other neonatal deaths, there is a legal obligation for a still birth to be registered with a registrar and for some there will be the organising of a burial or memorial service to contend with. In some circumstances a post mortem may need to be carried out.
Going back to work – how managers can help
Returning to work can be challenging for someone who has experienced a stillbirth. A sensitive and supportive approach by management is likely to help make it easier. The following are a few examples of the types of support you may wish to consider offering:
- When the employee is ready to resume work, arrange a meeting with the individual to discuss and plan their return to work. This could take place over the phone or face to face. You may wish to consider a staged return to work.
- Will she need further time off in the future for treatment or appointments?
- You may want to ask her how she feels about facing her colleagues with her sad news – Would she like them to know about her situation before she returns to work – would she like you to inform her work colleagues.
- Suggest that she might want to consider confiding in a couple of colleagues that she is close to, someone she can talk with.
- Acknowledge the loss – it’s okay to say that “you don’t know what to say” but don’t ignore the loss because of your own discomfort and feelings of helplessness.
- Once she has settled back in to work you may want to think about arranging a further meeting to review her situation – check out how she is coping, physically and emotionally.
Partners
Often partners are forgotten about at times like these but the loss of a baby affects both partners, not just the woman. Some may require compassionate leave in order to care for their partner and/or to care for their own emotional needs. Men quite often try to put on a “brave face” feeling they have to be strong for their partner or believe that talking about feelings is not the done thing. Afford the same sensitivity for a man as you would a woman – it was his child too.
A lost child needs to be grieved for and for some this will take longer than others, don’t expect individuals to be back to normal just because they are physically fit.
If you would like professional medical advice on how best to support an employee who has suffered a still birth you may wish to consider referring the employee to your occupational health service. For information on how to access this service you will need to refer to your company HR policy.
