The death of someone close to us will affect each of us differently. For instance, some of us will find it a real struggle to return to work quickly, whilst others will appreciate the ‘normality’ of being at work as it gives them a chance to focus on something other than their loss.
Grieving is the natural process of coming to terms with and adjusting to loss. Reactions can vary enormously, and there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to respond, and no set time scales. Even when individuals feel they are ‘over it’ they may suffer a setback. Some of the feelings and reactions people may experience include anger, denial, depression, lack of confidence, fear, guilt, shock and despair.
Organisations tend to give some flexibility to their managers when supporting their team-members through bereavement, such as sanctioning a certain number of days as ‘special leave’. However, some people will take significant sick leave, which can become an issue both for the organisation and for the employee’s psychological wellbeing.
Why it can be helpful to return to work
- Familiarity of a known environment with social support available from colleagues.
- Gives the employee some structure and routine, which can help provide a feeling of safety.
- It can help to increase self-confidence.
What can I do as a manager?
The main issue for those returning to work relates to the extra support that may be needed because of the natural grief reaction and the possibility of reduced performance at work. These should be only temporary, and the manager may be able to make adjustments to accommodate this for a short time.
The bereaved employee may be concerned about losing their job, so it is important that reassurance is given so that they can focus on their job at hand and adjusting to their loss.
Everyone is different, but below are some examples of things managers can do to help:
- Acknowledge the employee’s grief – A simple “I’m sorry for your loss” will make them aware that you empathise with their loss. Try not let your own discomfort prevent you from acknowledging their loss.
- Give the employee an opportunity to talk about how they feel – This can help them to feel listened to and valued.
- Check what they would like their colleagues to be told – This may be particularly helpful where the death was sudden, traumatic or that of a child. Colleagues may be concerned about what to say, you can help ease this if you have talked to the bereaved person and you are aware of their wishes.
- Where possible, offer some flexibility around their working hours – A change of shift or reduced hours for a period may help. Remember that immediately following the death there will be many practical matters to attend to, together with physical and emotional adjustments.
- Be prepared to expect less than their best performance when they initially return to work – In general, the intensity and impact of a person’s grief and their reaction to a bereavement reduce over time, and your patience will help to improve their confidence.
Further support
CIPD – Practical guidance for employers on supporting grieving employees.
Acas – Guidance about time off for bereavement.
Cruse – Bereavement support including a helpline.
Marie Curie – Bereavement support helpline.
Mind – Details a list of supportive organisations, including those that offer mental health support.
GOV.UK – List of organisations, including guidance for when someone dies.
Ref: WPW0028 This information was reviewed March 2024.
