Emotional, psychological and mental abuse

Emotional, psychological and mental abuse are often closely linked terms that can be used interchangeably. The aim of the perpetrator of emotional abuse in relationships is to reduce confidence and esteem in order to make their victim increasingly reliant on them. They use tactics such as intimidation, bullying, constant criticism and keeping someone isolated from family and friends in order to exert control. Emotional abuse in relationships is often a means of controlling the victim by having a strong mental hold over them.

This kind of abuse is often difficult to deal with as it tends to undermine the confidence of the victim to the extent that in some cases the individual will not recognise that they are being abused. For the most part, victims live in isolation, each thinking he/she is the only one suffering.

Abusers are adept at convincing both themselves and the victim that the abuse is his/her fault; somehow, the victim is responsible for what happened.

The abuser is often quite sensitive to outsiders finding out about the abuse and is very careful to save these scenes for the home environment only. They can appear delightful and charming when in public. They treat their partner with such respect that people often think they “are the perfect couple.”

Psychological and emotional abuse is likely to rely on the use of verbally abusive language combined sometimes with implied threats of physical or sexual abuse or worse. Sometimes silence and exclusion combined with power and control can have the same effect.

All abuse takes a toll, after all, when someone who knows you so well thinks you are so worthless and unlovable, then “it must be true.” One of the most devastating effects of living with psychological and emotional abuse is the change in self-esteem. As the person begins to internalize the criticism and believe in its validity, self-image sinks lower and lower. They start feeling worthless, incompetent, unlovable, helpless and hopeless.

The survivors of psychological and emotional abuse consistently report that they came to believe what they were hearing. Often the first step in leaving the abuser is obtaining counselling.

Psychological and emotional abuse can and sometimes does, develop into physical abuse and violence.

For further information on abuse, the affects and where to go for help click on the web links below.

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