It is well recognised that a satisfying and fulfilling working life can help to support a positive sense of personal wellbeing. Positive relationships with colleagues, structure, purpose and meaning, creativity as well as income are some of the benefits of working life that contribute to a sense of self-worth. All of this can be undermined if we are faced with the loss of our job through redundancy.
Redundancy can bring a sudden change in our life circumstances over which we may feel we have limited control. Although for some employees redundancy is welcomed as an opening for new opportunities, for most people who are not at the end of their careers or who do not have some other reason to feel positive about the event, redundancy can generate feelings of loss similar to those that accompany major bereavement.
Losing a job through redundancy can be quite simply, devastating.
Whether it is a long, anticipated event or sudden and unexpected, redundancy is likely to be a major disruption to your life.
Most of us are comfortable with routine and stability in our lives. We can usually predict what is likely to happen from one day to the next with some accuracy. We develop routines and patterns in our life that make it easier for us to manage the complex arrangements that can be necessary to cope with our busy personal and work lives. Simple routines include things like the time we get up, what we do after waking, our breakfast, and route to work and the content of our days at work. Our sense of identity is often linked closely to our work.
Any sudden and unexpected change to our routine will shake up the patterns and routines we have created. Where this change is viewed as unwelcome the resulting effect can include a range of distressing emotional responses including anger, guilt, anxiety, fear and depression.
There are people who seem to thrive on regular change and feel restless if they see life as becoming too comfortable. But most people will find unexpected and or unwanted change challenging.
If our sense of identity and self-worth is closely linked to our job, being unemployed can be profoundly disturbing, comparable in fact to other major life events such as a death in the family or some other similarly traumatic event.
The cycle of grief
If we view redundancy as a major loss similar to the death of a friend or loved one our responses can be seen to follow a similar pattern. This pattern has become known as the cycle of grief:
Denial and shock are the two most immediate emotional responses to learning that your job has become redundant. In a state of shock, it is not unusual to find that it is difficult to believe that what is happening is real. “I can’t believe it is happening to me” is a common response.
Anger and guilt can often accompany the gradual realisation that this is happening. It is quite natural to feel both shocked and angry at the same time. Anger can be directed understandably towards your employer but sometimes anger can spill over into other areas of life and we can find that we are angry with people who are nothing to with the decision to make us redundant. It is important to recognise that feeling angry is a normal reaction to loss or unexpected change and we need to manage our anger carefully to avoid creating other unwanted problems through uncontrolled expression of our feelings. Guilt can sometimes accompany or even replace anger, particularly if we feel that redundancy is in some way our own responsibility
Anxiety and fear may be accompanying emotional responses. Anxiety, worry or indeed fear may characterise the uncertainty of our position as we face the prospect of an immediate future without work with all of the anticipated practical and emotional consequences.
Depression can arise when feelings of anxiety and fear become overwhelming. Again, it is important to recognise that it is natural to feel ‘down’ when experiencing sudden, unexpected, uninvited and uncontrollable change. Most people will naturally work through this period of ‘reactive’ depression after a short period of time, however if you feel you are becoming stuck in this mood, or you are disturbed by the thoughts and reactions you are experiencing you should speak to your GP for advice and support.
There are some simple things you can do to reduce your anxiety about redundancy to more manageable levels:
- Increase your physical, social and recreational activity levels. Take regular exercise, meet with friends and continue or think about developing new recreational activities
- Avoid excessive use of stimulants such as alcohol, tea/coffee and, cigarettes – they can increase feelings of anxiety. You will feel calmer and sleep better if you do this
- Eat healthily. A balanced diet has been shown to have a beneficial effect on emotional wellbeing
- Learn to relax – there are many books, CDs or MP3 files and classes available.Bargaining is the next stage in the cycle of grief and loss. At some stage we will begin to bargain with ourselves or with others to try to re-establish some of the sense of normality that has been taken from us – “OK it is a shame that things have come to an end, but new opportunities will surely follow.” Although at this stage we may have some way to go before the emotional rollercoaster of grief and loss is concluded we are likely increasingly to be open to discussion about our future. We may be beginning to engage with some of the positive aspects of the change.
Acceptance is the final stage of the grieving process – when we have been able to face the ending created by redundancy, acknowledged and accepted our feelings and been able to let go.
There is no predetermined route through this cycle of events and no set timescale. Some people will pass through the whole process in days or even hours, while others may be working through the process for weeks or months or longer. Everyone is different in their response to loss. Once you have learned to accept what has happened you will be ready to move on with your life to wherever it takes you next.
How to transform redundancy into opportunity
- Don’t view this as something done to you personally – redundancy is an economic decision made by your employer not a personal criticism of you
- Take control of your life. Begin to plan your life to ensure that you keep some structure and definition to your days. A well-defined plan with clear, achievable goals will help you to cope with the impact of this change successfully. Start with where you are, decide where you want to get to, and then work out how you make the journey from here to there
- Maintain and develop an active network of friends and work contacts. This can help support you, and perhaps link you to possible opportunities for the future
- Acknowledge and accept your feelings, even those that you would rather not experience. This will help you to adapt and move on. Even when things are difficult you can learn to stay in control of your thoughts. For example, we can choose whether we look at a glass as half empty or half full
- Avoid bottling up your feelings. Talk to family and friends and colleagues too, about how you are feeling. Although they may also be anxious, sharing your feelings will help them to share their own concerns and together you can support each other through what is happening
- Writing down your thoughts and feelings can also be helpful
- Invite constructive feedback to ensure you are aware of how others may see you and what opportunities you may be missing
- If you expect to be looking for new work opportunities, then a skills audit is a good place to start. Identify the skills you can take forward. Use your imagination to create a portfolio of transferable skills. Look for similarities between your current experience and qualifications and the direction you want to move in
- Make sure any goals you set are SMART – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, and Realistic and have a set Timescale. Start with small steps and view any setbacks as learning points rather than failures
- Reward yourself as you progress through your goals
- Stay focused on where you are headed
Be positive in your thinking
Staying positive will help you move on.
- Listen to motivational speakers or read inspirational books to help encourage yourself and enhance your positive thinking
- Look back at previous major changes you have experienced. How did you cope? What positive qualities did you display? Write down and reflect on these each day
- At the end of each day reflect on what you have achieved through the day.
Saying goodbye
Saying Goodbye can be an emotional time. There is nothing wrong with feeling sadness when leaving. Recognising this as an important and probably inescapable part of the process of moving on will help you to cope with this. The last few days/weeks at work can be tense and lacking in motivation. Equally difficult is being asked to leave and ‘work’ your notice at home. Don’t expect too much from yourself during this period but begin to focus on some of the activities discussed above that will help you to move forward.
Staying behind
It is not unusual for those who are left behind when friends and colleagues have left to experience a sense of guilt that you still have a job. This is known as Survivor Guilt.
- You may still feel insecure about your own job and feel uncomfortable with colleagues who are leaving.
- You may feel you do not know what to say to colleagues who have been made redundantThere may be nothing you can do or say to take away the real pain of the loss experienced by colleagues. Acknowledging their feelings and expressing your own may help. Sometimes just saying sorry is enough. Offer support if you can but be realistic about what you can do.
For some time after the event those left behind will probably face continued uncertainty, insecurity and guilt as adjustments are made to the new situation. Those left behind are facing their own cycle of grief and loss despite the fact that they have not been made redundant. Staying positive will help you to manage the transition to the new circumstances you find yourself in.
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