Parenting

Parents sometimes think that younger children are not able to understand reasoning and problem solving and certainly can’t understand adult emotions, but this is not necessarily true.

Your children usually know when something in the home is wrong, or if they have upset you or behaved badly, even if they can’t verbally express to you what the problem is.

The best way to answer any questions your children may have is with honesty. You can tailor your answers based on your children’s age but be aware that keeping important information from your children may not necessarily be the best idea.

Talk to them

It is important to always be honest and open with your children and explain to them clearly and concisely why you are angry/sad/upset/disappointed and that they need to understand why you think their behaviour is unreasonable or why they can’t just have everything that they want.

If you need to chastise them, make sure your children are clear that although you may be unhappy with their behaviour you still love and care for them. After you’ve explained your decision about a situation, make sure that you let your children know that they can talk to you about their feelings and about why they have behaved the way they did.

If they know that you still love them and that you are interested in hearing about their side of things and how different things are affecting them, they are less likely to be angry with you, or to let situations affect other things in their lives, such as school, activities or relationships with friends.

Problem solving together

Try to navigate a way through a situation with your children, rather than battling against them. Children can understand why some things are simply not acceptable and have to be addressed or changes must be made, and although you shouldn’t overload young children with too much information or emotional outbursts, it is important that you can reason with them and assert yourself when necessary.

Remember that YOU are the parent!

It is important to remember that YOU are the parent and you are in charge. Listening to your children is vital, and they should be given the time, space and respect they need and deserve to make their point. However, they also need to learn to listen and respect what you have to say too.

It won’t just be you who must reason with your children. There will be times when other parents, teachers, family members and people in your wider community will have cause to discuss issues with your children, and if you can equip them with the listening and reasoning skills that they will need in later life, this will really help them to understand things from other people’s points of view.

Do not be afraid to tackle sensitive issues with your children because they need to be made aware of a range of different situations, feelings and issues. Over-protecting and insulating your children from life’s difficulties can mean that they may never really learn how to cope with difficult things that happen in their lives.

Being a parent often means juggling responsibilities of home and work. Children make a major impact upon any relationship and it is important to remember to find time for your partner too as well as meeting the needs of a growing family.

Parents will experience different issues to address as children go through their own stages of development.

The challenges of parenthood

The many studies carried out on good parenting have a common thread – use clear communication, be clear about your expectations and standards and be consistent. Making sure children have rules and boundaries as well as love and respect as these are all vital to their well-being and healthy family life.

For some parents taking a course of parenting skills may be useful. Research has found that parents who have developed their skills in this way experience positive changes in the relationships with their children and reduced stress for themselves.

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