Teenagers face one of their most challenging times of their lives as they navigate a path through the range of emotional, psychological and physical changes that affect them through this period.
Photo by Providence Doucet on Unsplash
At this time, they are building their own identity and clashes with parents and ‘authority’ is often a challenge for both teen and parents alike.
Their lives can be fun and exciting with all kinds of role models to emulate across the spectrum of society from footballers, pop idols, and nearer to home both friends and family. They may experience more ‘ups and downs’ at this time possibly due to hormonal changes so it is important for them to know that support is on hand.
You should be aware that as a parent to a teenager you won’t always see eye to eye with your off-spring but placing boundaries with a common-sense approach and understanding will reap their own rewards.
Conflict and other issues
- Getting your teen to help around the house willingly and take responsibility for their own room/clothes and general cleanliness will stand them in good stead for later years. This may not come without challenge and negotiation. In the end success reaps its own reward for all members of the household.
- Having friends and being accepted is important at this time; peer pressure can be strong but helping your teenager to keep a balanced view about ups and downs in relationships with friends is advisable.
- Style and presentation – your teenager’s style of dress may not be to your taste but more often than not it is a phase; maintaining an open-minded approach with a willingness to negotiate around contentious issues may help to influence any extreme behaviours.
- Alcohol and Drugs – testing the adult world, experimentation and pushing the boundaries are all part of the teenage years. It can be difficult to keep a balance between allowing them some independence and choice and ensuring they are safe. Drugs are an ever-present danger today and being alert to any changes in teen behaviours may stop/reduce the risk of any serious issues arising. Maintaining communication will help with this and other issues mentioned below.
- Sexual Behaviour – Do not try to avoid the issue of sex. It is normal for teens to be curious and it is better they get the best information available; if you feel this might be a challenging area for you then seek help from books for teens and be aware that most schools have a robust sex education programme as part of their curriculum.
- Depression, stress and anxiety are ever present in todays society where pressures can often appear overwhelming to our teens. These pressures range from being accepted as one of the crowds to impending examinations and deadlines for course work. Maintaining good communication helps but signs that things may not be OK may include:
- mood swings
- withdrawal from friends/family
- loss of appetite / overeating
- unhappiness
- school contact re behaviour/poor course work.
Maintaining communication is always recommended and treating teenagers as young adults rather than children will help encourage a two-way street. Whilst it may be difficult to understand or accept what is happening or being said, allowing them the opportunity to speak without constant criticism or interruption will encourage dialogue where both parties feel heard and respected. Try to remember you too were once a teenager.
Suggestions for successful communications:
- Remember treating them as a young adult means not humiliating them or putting them down in front of friends and family
- Being seen to be fair and honest will help in your communication
- Teenagers will ‘switch off’ to repetitive statements, criticism or sarcastic comments and not being able to give their point of view
- Boundaries need to be maintained and positivity encouraged especially if the problem is serious and needs action.
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