Negotiating is something we all do on a daily basis, be it in our personal lives or at work. Negotiation is a process whereby two or more parties who have different opinions and expectations on a particular topic, try to come to an agreement for mutual benefit.
The format of a negotiation can vary but it always involves discussion and compromise. Success will depend on the people involved, their attitude and their negotiation skills. Some individuals seem to have a way of being able to influence others with relative ease, getting them on board and viewing things from the others perspective. For others negotiation can lead to feelings of anxiety or a sense of dread, associating such situations with conflict and bad feelings. Whatever the situation is, trying to win new customers or retain existing ones, enhancing internal relations between colleagues or peers, or securing your pay rise, successful negotiation is an important communication skill.
Preparing to negotiate
Give yourself sufficient time to prepare for the meeting. Preparation is crucial if you are to be successful and can save you a lot of time further into the process. As negotiation is about “give and take” it’s not possible to plan fine details but applying structure will help to ensure that you address all the relevant areas. Below are some of the areas you may wish to consider.
- What are your objectives – the purpose for the meeting?
- What would be a good outcome – for you – for the business – the other party?
- What would be acceptable – what is non-negotiable?
- What are your limits and those of the other party – will there be a need to gain authority from another party to secure a final agreement
- What do you know about the person/s you will be dealing with? – What can you find out? – gain as much information as you can about the other party/situation
- Think about when and where the meeting might take place – schedule the meeting for an appropriate time when everyone is likely to be available and relaxed – not at 5.30 on a Friday evening or first thing in the morning.
- Allow adequate time for the meeting.
- How do you anticipate the meeting taking place – face to face – over the phone – video conference – web meeting?
The negotiation
This is the time when each party brings their interests to the negotiating table. As each need and want is identified they should be explored further. Ask open questions to find out why this is so important to them; try and understand it from their point of view, it will help to make sense of their demands and may make them feel less demanding. Exploration will help to make things clearer, identify sticking points and help in establish some common ground.
Once all the interests have been discussed and a common ground reached you can move your attentions to the sticking points, this is where the “give and take” comes in as you explore the possibilities to resolve the issues. This is not about giving in but a process of exchange. Try to stay focused on the problem and not the person. If you are unable to reach a compromise, then maybe you should consider setting it aside and moving on to another area. Once you are ready to reach an agreement, summarise the points to check that each party has the same understanding. Follow this up in writing.
The language of successful negotiation
If our negotiations are to be successful we need to ensure we communicate our needs effectively. Words are only one way of getting our message heard. We communicate with all of our body, our expressions, gestures, posture, tone of voice and choice of words. For most of the time we are not aware of the non-verbal messages we are sending and receiving, but on a subconscious level this information is all being processed.
What is your overall appearance saying about you – consider the impact of how you dress, is it appropriate in the context of the setting/culture.
Whilst you’re checking out the body language of others are you aware what you are conveying to others through your own body language?
Try to maintain a relaxed upright posture – don’t cross your arms.
Where are your hands? – what are they saying – avoid fidgeting.
Do you look as friendly as you feel? – smile, it makes a positive impression.
What signals are your eyes sending – have you made eye contact – are you staring?
Choose your words carefully – be polite – avoid using jargon.
Tone of voice usually reflects how we are feeling – what is yours saying – bored – angry or relaxed and open?
Actively listen – face the speaker – let the other party know that you have heard them – repeating what they have said will clarify your understanding while letting them know you are listening. Don’t interrupt. Nod occasionally
Finally, whatever the other person chooses to do, don’t react, take responsibility for your behaviour and maintain a professional approach.
